THIS WOMAN IS SO HOT.  I don’t mean like just the fact that she is flawless in both body and style but she is just so friggin’ HOT!  We “met” through a media inquiry (that landed me in a magazine, AWESOME) and that inquiry led to a phone call that ended up having me tell her a HILARIOUS story I’m not ready to publish yet.

Anywho, after deciding that we were going to be friends for all of eternity, she asks if I want to read a book of hers, “The Parent Trip: From High Heels and Parties to Highchairs and Potties“.  Holy crap.  I just about peed myself.  I wrote the review of that (click that link to read it) and it made me love her more because her segment dissing the Scunci Steamer brought back memories of my adoration of the product.  That, too, is another story I should write about because I will never doubt my Steamer.

When I had the honor of meeting her in pleasure I wanted to steal her belt and kiss her face.  I know I did one of them but I can’t tell you for sure which one.

So a few weeks ago, I get a package in the mail.  I’m all like “WTF?  I didn’t know there were books coming.  I didn’t approve books coming”  like I’m SO COOL, I can do that (I am).

THEN I see the books.  OOOH!!!  I flip out.  I immediately take a picture of them and upload them on Facebook, clearly wetting my pants as I believe I stated in the caption (it’s a theme, I apparently pee a lot).  Here’s what she sent along-

AWESOME.  Being the mother of two boys, this would have been a perfect read so I knew what to expect when I was pregnant with my first son.  Now that he’s five and my second son is two, I had to learn the hard way.

One of my bestest long time friends just had a baby (literally, about 12 hours ago) and she’s getting this book delivered (he he) along with another baby gift this week (I’m assuming she’s too busy to see this to find out, so I don’t mind writing it).

Big Rigs for Moms, A Crash Course in Sons for New Mothers answers all the questions new moms need to know about the very nasty, dirty, stank-ass baby boys we have.  We give birth to these perfect little angels and can’t wait to watch them grow only to see that we have no idea what it is they’re doing.  For instance, both my five and two year old boys are sitting on the kitchen floor banging their heads on the patio doors laughing as the landscapers mow the lawn.

Why?  Who knows?  I know I just had to yell “Hey!” when it sounded like there could be damage done that could possibly effect their SAT scores (unless they play Football, then they’re just prepping for their future).

Every single thing in this book is spot on.  Having already lived what Jenna wrote, I can say for sure she covered all the bases – from dinosaurs (and lately Dragons) to Superhero gear (TONS of it), this is a perfect book for a new mom to read on those seemingly endless nights of nursing and rocking their little man to sleep.  She can look down at her precious little angel and softly say, “Oh shit”.

Then we come to” Tea Parties for Dads, A Crash Course in Daughters for New Fathers“.  This I can’t so much relate to.  Like I said, I had two boys and even though I had wanted a girl, I’m happy with the filthy little gifts I got (and I can clearly hear that the younger one is about to deliver a gift to me in his diaper, awesome).

I had to read this book.  I didn’t grow up like the normal little girl (obviously lol) but I have friends and neighbors with little girls, so this book was really more for me since I am just not knowledgeable in the ways of the little gals.  I used to rip Barbie’s head off and flush it, so this book really helped me out when (if) it ever comes to me watching a friends little one.

I have to say reading this made me a little jealous.  Over the years I became more girly.  I was a rebel growing up.  I hated pink,  refused to like any current pop culture (I had a shirt that said “New Kids Suck” referencing New Kids On The Block and got suspended because my teacher thought I meant new students at the school) and chose to play the trumpet in band because all the girls played flute or clarinet (I wanted the sax but my mom bought a trumpet, I rocked it) .

Maybe it’s because I’m surrounded by so much dirt and poo (oh yeah, he’s still working on that.  He just grunted, relaxed and said “Ew”), reading about pink dresses and glitter everywhere, accessories and jewelery.  Oh, I’m almost sad but she had me cracking up.  Bittersweet for me, I guess.

This is absolutely a must-read for those “manly men” who just helped bring a little girl into the world.  I don’t care how “manly” that man thinks he is, his little girl is about to plow on into his world and take charge.  There’s a reason for the term “Daddy’s Girl” and I think these new dad’s should start learning right now that they *might* have to wear pink and drink tea and a mini table next in the back yard.

To learn more about the woman I stalk adore, visit www.jennamccarthy.com.  She’s hot.